In this week's travels...

Went back to my "hometown" this week for Thanksgiving, you know, the other side of DC.

Now, the one thing that this part of town has is the "Sniders Superfoods" grocery store, which is pretty much the most amazing thing in the world because it's yards cheaper than giant or safeway (which are cheaper still than the strange bodega under my last apartment, that sold channukah candles but not toilet paper, despite the fact that it was July). Sniders always has the best sales on cheeses and a solid and proper deli counter. Those of us who were raised on the bagels and smoked fish for breakfast thing can appreciate this.



Please also note that they have "meat that can't be beat."

In other perusals, I was biking to shoppers food warehouse in Alexandria the other day by way of Del Ray (my typical route, it takes longer and you don't have to battle route 1) and I noticed that Del Ray offers a store that is BOTH a comic book shop AND an "exotic planterium."



On yet another note, I made pie:

D'ya suppose he was... compensating?

apparently hitler only had one ball.


Uh, and they made a song about it.

Names of the week...

In the interest of my sister's collection of Bad Baby Names, BHAC has decided to start a "Names of the Week" section. It may or may not be updated by the week, but whatever.

Included sections include Inappropriate Use of The Apostrophe, Inappropriate Spellings, Names We Can't Pronounce, and just about anything else that makes us laugh.

This week's are:

L'Aura.

Shabanna.

Spaetzle (Pronounced Spetzel).

More interesting real estate...

WTF is an Obama-friendly condo?

Norman is an "unnatural creature"

Poor Norman.

Norman is my garden gnome. He is so not aesthetically unattractive. I maintain that Norman could so totally help the grieving process.

Garden gnomes have been banned from cemeteries by a church diocese because leaders say they are "unnatural creatures".

The gnomes, along with plastic flowers and other decorations such as teddy bears, have been called "inappropriate" and tacky by the Diocese of Bath and Wells.

The church banned the garden figures from Wrington and Congresbury cemeteries in Somerset, and have said they will remove any that they find as part of new guidelines issued by the Chancellor of the Diocese, Worshipful Timothy Briden.

A spokesman for the Diocese of Bath and Wells said: "There is no such thing as a real gnome so why should we have such unnatural creatures in churchyards?"

The spokesman added: "Things such as gnomes and plastic flowers are not permitted because they are aesthetically unattractive and they make it harder to maintain the grounds.

"The historic churchyards are part of Somerset and we want to keep them tidy and safe.

"If people want their loved ones to be buried in one of our churchyards then they have to stick to the rules which are clearly displayed at all churchyards."

The decision to ban the gnomes and statues has been met with criticism from the community however.

Hollie Richards, 24, who has lived in Congresbury all her life and has two grandparents, an uncle and an aunt buried in St Andrew's churchyard in the cemetery, said: "People should be free to put what they want around the gravestones as it is down to personal preference.

"It helps the grieving process as you can surround the grave of the person you love with possessions that were important to them.

Ms Richards added: "I am lucky I live so near as I can take fresh flowers, but what about the people who live far away?

"They will have to leave knowing the flowers will deteriorate and will look unsightly after a few days."

DISCRIMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Divinity, served cold with onion and miracle whip

In searching for a nice, basic pasta recipe that I could make for this evening: something involving maybe some good parmesan cheese, broccoli, spinach, olive oil, garlic, maybe some asparagus or sundried tomatoes or something... I came across one of the reasons that, from a culinary perspective, sometimes America sucks.

I give you MAC RANCH!

1/2 bottle ranch dressing
1/2 container vegetable dip
1/3 cup purchased salad dressing
4 stalks celery, diced
4 hard boiled eggs, peeled
1 box spaghetti noodles, cooked
1/4 cup milk
5 scallions, chopped

Chill noodles and eggs. Chop eggs into noodles. Add mixture of onions and celery. Add ranch dressing and vegetable dip. Add salad dressing and milk then mix.

The author helpfully notes that her favorite salad dressing "is Miracle Whip."

I'd never thought of Miracle Whip as "salad dressing." I'd also never thought of mixing the above ingredients and calling them a meal.

I'm reminded of the casserole made for us last XMAS, with canned asparagus, hard-boiled eggs, canned peas, cream of mushroom soup, and crackers.

If you haven't seen it before, check out The Amazing Mackerel Pudding Plan. It's snappy and it makes me die a little inside every time I read it.

Adventures In Real Estate, 14910, in which Sarah looks for a house on the hill...

Mom and I were scanning the sales ads again, I'd been thinking that if I never find somewhere in Old Town (that doesn't like, lean sideways, or like, still have recently-released inmates living there because it is presently an unregulated halfway house with a dilapidated pink kitchen, I'd look on the Hill, because it's a beautiful part of town and one of the few that really feels like an old city neighborhood, not as beigey-concrete and pricey as dupont or as trashed as Columbia Heights. Transitional. Sorry. The real estate term for trashed is TRANSITIONAL. Or "authentic." Or "charming."

So we're looking at this one place that which is really beautiful on the outside, it's a nice yellow rowhouse with beautiful detailing not found in most recently-built homes, and I called the realtor about it. Apparently it needed like, some rehab, but it's right behind that nice strip of bars and good restaurants on Pennsylvania Avenue and everyone has a different definition of "some rehab."

I asked the realtor what that meant and he said "Oh, you'd have to do some renovations."
Me: "Does it uh, need to be gutted?"
Realtor: "Well, that would depend on your definion of 'gutted.' I suppose I'd leave the floors."

In our perusing, we come across this one in NE a few blocks from the Capitol, which IS renovated (ish. It turned out the renovations were pretty but badly done, so it's not exactly unlikely that they would fall out). It's in a gorgeous spot on the Hill, close to everything, all victorian rowhomes and cute restaurants with folks out and about raking leaves and whatnot. We meet the listing-agent-et-douchebag, who was, unfortunately, your typical Stuff-White-People-Like type, the gentrified urbanist, in soulful tweed jacket, who is positively convinced that those of us who live in Northern Virginia are dying a slow death from boredom and makes a point to tell us how he really feels.

Mind you, directly outside the house is about four cop cars, a bunch of guys in SWAT gear, and a helicopter flying overhead, circling.

My mother just looks at me and goes "Sarah? THERE IS A SWAT TEAM OUTSIDE THIS HOUSE."

I think I just smiled and merely said "Well, at least there IS a police presence and they haven't just given up on it."

I suppose we'll keep looking.