In which we "make pasta..."

Upon being recently gifted with an All-Amazing-Superfabulously-Hawt-KitchenAid Mixer, my first thought was somehow that I could totally make pasta. Can't be that hard, I thought, it's just dough... I can make dough... and homemade pasta would be so... homey! interesting! so very... from scratch. Because I'm cool and good at making things from scratch. Perhaps I could even come off as looking talented.

Naturally, I'm not THAT good and for some reason, despite the fact that I bake my own bread on a regular basis and cook all the time, I don't own a rolling pin and am more prone to using large cans of the dog's green beans or whatever is in my cabinet when I'm trying to roll something out. So I tried to find the Kitchenaid Pasta attachment.

I googled and found little plates that you can attach to your meat grinder, which came complete with reviews like "caused kitchenaid motor to smoke like crazy" and the ilk and then, found reviews for the Kitchenaid Pasta Maker... which cost nearly as much as the mixer. Bah! I'm not spending hundreds of dollars on a pasta maker, sez I.

So dad and I impulsively went E-Bay shopping and the first thing that popped up was the Atlas Regina, circa the early 90s and made of plastic. We totally missed the all the other pasta makers on ebay, because the Atlas Regina promised to make SHAPES! SHAPES! None of the other pasta makers made SHAPES!

Drawn by the promises of homemade fusili, we ponied up for the Atlas Regina:



In all of it's completely weird-ass glory.

and then Brother Ari came over for an evening of pasta making.

First the All-Amazing-Superfabulous-Hawt KitchenAid mixer churned up Dough Batch One...



and Brother Ari kneaded the dough...



We have dough...



We have no idea what dough is supposed to look like... but it weighs a TON!



OMG! LITTLE BITTY PASTAS!!!



It's called an "extruder."



See them extrude?



Like... um, fuck, worms. Flour dusted worms. Unfortunately, they were too dense to really DO much with... Ari and I ate a few of them and they were reasonably pasta-like, just... very very dense. And very very sticky. Which is why we floured them.




WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

We will try again through a proper pasta roller. Meanwhile, does anyone want a Atlas Regina?