Deep thoughts, by Coleridge.

My friend's cat is on Twitter. Surely Sarah's dog, Matlock, must be soon to follow.

Because who really needs party teeth?

So, you know, just like everybody else, I'm trying to stay afloat in this harsh economic climate... thought I'd cut back on the bling in my life. What better way than to do this?!

More from our neighbors to the north...

http://www.vancouversun.com/Life/Yarn+bombers+take+Vancouver+streets/1342756/story.html

I'm sure I'm going to get some major hate mail from artistes for this one... but YARN BOMBING?!?!?!?!? These so-called "activists" are "bombing" the inner city with doorknob koozies. "Guerrilla knitters!?!?” In surreptitious UNIFORM (one admits to knitting herself a pink balaclava guerilla suit)?

"Knitting tags is almost all i do now," said one person on "www.yarnbombing.com."

Seriously, the rest of us only wish we had so much free time.

The world will burst forth with warm fuzzy yarns of every breed and color, every heart will soften as it connects looping love across the planet stitch by stitch till there is no separation in our smiles.

Maybe I'm just from DC, and we're too damn practical. But I did go to art school, and I can say damn well that anyone who rambles about "looping love across the planet" really, really needs to step out more. I daresay there are a lot of folks and animals out there that could benefit from some warm knitted clothing, you know, instead of a lightpost that's been "tagged." Once upon a time, activism had a pratical purpose beyond "looping love."

Ohhh. CNN.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/01/16/mom.son.dead.pet/index.html


REALLY?


Names of the Week: Turqwaz. Gi'Norria.

The Nation Prepares...

Prank you very much.

As a devotee of bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, I can wholeheartedly sympathize with the Sacramento Kings for this prank they pulled on their rookie, Jason Thompson. Dude, maybe you should remember the bagels next time. For now, enjoy some fresh popcorn.

... of the day...

CNN Headlines at this present time:



"Legendary band has 'unfinished music'"

"Harrison Ford's chest hair waxed, ripped off" (WITH VIDEO!)

"What will apple debut at Macworld swan song?"

"Obama reviewed cobbler on TV in '01"

"Artist tests Facebook 'nipple rule'"



This is the news.



Name of the day: Le-a.

Pronounciation: Le-DASH-A.

That dash ain't silent.

Names of the week...

In the interest of my sister's collection of Bad Baby Names, BHAC has decided to start a "Names of the Week" section. It may or may not be updated by the week, but whatever.

Included sections include Inappropriate Use of The Apostrophe, Inappropriate Spellings, Names We Can't Pronounce, and just about anything else that makes us laugh.

This week's are:

L'Aura.

Shabanna.

Spaetzle (Pronounced Spetzel).

Divinity, served cold with onion and miracle whip

In searching for a nice, basic pasta recipe that I could make for this evening: something involving maybe some good parmesan cheese, broccoli, spinach, olive oil, garlic, maybe some asparagus or sundried tomatoes or something... I came across one of the reasons that, from a culinary perspective, sometimes America sucks.

I give you MAC RANCH!

1/2 bottle ranch dressing
1/2 container vegetable dip
1/3 cup purchased salad dressing
4 stalks celery, diced
4 hard boiled eggs, peeled
1 box spaghetti noodles, cooked
1/4 cup milk
5 scallions, chopped

Chill noodles and eggs. Chop eggs into noodles. Add mixture of onions and celery. Add ranch dressing and vegetable dip. Add salad dressing and milk then mix.

The author helpfully notes that her favorite salad dressing "is Miracle Whip."

I'd never thought of Miracle Whip as "salad dressing." I'd also never thought of mixing the above ingredients and calling them a meal.

I'm reminded of the casserole made for us last XMAS, with canned asparagus, hard-boiled eggs, canned peas, cream of mushroom soup, and crackers.

If you haven't seen it before, check out The Amazing Mackerel Pudding Plan. It's snappy and it makes me die a little inside every time I read it.

Oh, DC. You're so efficient.

So, I got protested on my way into work tonight. Quite literally, got the glare face on my way into a govt-type conference cocktail party by a woman holding a sign and wearing ugly shoes.

However, DC called in the friggin BOMB SQUAD due to an extremely suspicious stuffed polar bear outside the Columbia Heights Metro.

http://www.nbc4.com/news/17484808/detail.html

And shut down the metro. And the street.

Please go to the NBC site for a photo of the bomb squad approaching the polar bear. Just when I thought today couldn't get ANY stranger.

http://www.nbc4.com/slideshow/news/17485520/detail.html

"A battle of apathetic grandeur"

Otherwise known as the Hipster Olympics.

"The chuppah is closer than you think!"

Are you Jewish, and want to get married? Perhaps this might pique your interest. I think it's like The Rules for Jews.

Oh yes, and there are games:

"The Discovery Wheel is a simpler, more direct communication tool that singles can play on dates to ask each other specific questions about their lives and dreams."

(PS anyone ever hear of having a conversation?)

And speaking of The Rules, those chicks have recorded a RAP SONG. Hey, "Just do the Rules." It's "inspirational," according to their website. Hmm.

On a slightly related note, we can all rest assured knowing that these men will never get laid, no matter how good they think their game is.

(posted by Katie)

Unexplained phenomenon

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"The bride's motive for abandoning her husband was not immediately clear."

http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,561503,00.html

I'd say it's perfectly clear...

Wedgie saves man's life

A window cleaner in Australia survives a nine-story fall (the downside is that he had the sensation of being nearly twain in two by his harness) - read more at http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23913749-952,00.html.

(posted by Katie)

Obama's (tartan) lover

http://www.smh.com.au/news/us-election/i-had-sex-with-obama/2008/06/19/1213770824274.html?feed=RSS

Obama's alleged "gay lover" books a room at the Press Club to hold a press conference regarding them doing drugs and having sex. Oh, and his attorney is Montgomery Blair Sibley, aka DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey's attorney, and he is wearing a kilt.

"I don't mean to be impudent," said one reporter, "but why are you wearing a kilt?"

Sibley explained: "It has to do with genitalia. If you are on the smaller side, then pants are not uncomfortable."

Quote of the ages...

"I am not familiar with hispanic designers."

(after being questioned as to why she didn't know who Jerry Garcia was).

WOW

A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria's Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.
The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria's Secret "low-rise v-string," according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.
Patterson's lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a "design problem" caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.
Patterson's product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.
The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria's Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson's lawyer.

Best dog toy EVER

"The Ex."

It even has a little spot for you to write his name on the back.

Only in Russia...

Those crazy Ruskies. http://sneezl.com/only-in-russia/?russian